Why do I let stupid things bother me?

A couple of things...

Last night I made the most delicious burritos. When Kate was in town over the holidays she said I should try a mashed yam/black bean burrito so last night I whipped them up.

You should really try it because it was heavenly. Just chop up some yams, boil them, mash them with some butter, a bit of brown sugar and salt.

While your yams are boiling, chuck some garlic and onion in some oil, add black beans and cilantro. Mix the beans in with the mashed yams and throw some in a tortilla. Grate some cheese on it, add a bit of salsa and there you go!

Kate had said it's key to have some homemade guac on hand with it but I didn't have any avocados so next time I'll do that.

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Something that someone said to me yesterday got me thinking about a period (a period I generally never think about anymore, thank god!)in my past that sucked. Like, it sucked a big fucking short, fat dick with genital warts and a side of herpes. And lucky for me, the worst of it lasted for a year. I'm not one to regret things in my past too much but this is one time where I honestly would erase it completely if that was possible. Such regrets, all around the board on that one.

Anyways, what's bothering me all of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, something I never really thought too much about before, is what other people that were on the outside, people that don't even know me at all, think of me. There are some people or maybe just one or two, that have a perceived notion of what kind of a person I am, that is completely false.

I am a good person. I am very kind. I am generous. I am extremely loyal and supportive to those that treat me with respect and are good to me. I have a good sense of humour. I am incredibly easy going when it comes to most things, except cleanliness. I am compassionate.

I hate that because of choices I made when it comes to love, I ended up in a very dark, lonely, self loathing place for a very long time and that people I don't even know judge my character based on that time.

Haven't we all been there? It ain't pretty.

I mean, this was so bloody long ago. Why can't I be judged on my character now?!

I really shouldn't care what people think of me, especially people that aren't my friends or that I've barely spoken to. Right? Right.

Ok, fine, and I also know that we've all be guilty for just not liking someone based on nothing really. I have been guilty of this, very rarely, but in my 29 years this has happened like, 2 times or so. Sometimes you just want to spit in someone's fucking face for no real reason. So I guess if someone wants to spit in my face or whatever or just not like me, I just have to accept it. And if they want to without knowing me then that's not my problem. Because dare I say, most people that actually get to know me, do in fact like me.

I hearby vow to never, ever, ever again judge anyone that I do not know at all or especially, anyone going through heartache. A broken heart can make you a bit crazy. AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT PEOPLE?